This Oughta Shut You Up
by Tigerdust
Summary: A part of Wolverine's prequel. When Deadpool knocks on his door less than sober, Logan is about to unearth something inside Wade that not even he saw coming. Slash, Logan/Wade pairing before the adamantium.


There was a knock on Logan's door. He looked up from his tattered copy of Count of Monte Cristo in annoyance. Flicking a glance toward the clock, Logan noticed that it was approaching midnight. He knew Victor wasn't knocking at his door. He could smell his brother and the two whores next door, his brother full well knowing he could smell their lust through the wall. Logan wondered at how disgusting his brother had become in so short a time. _Perhaps_, he thought, _this is the result of men with the ability to live forever_.

The knock was more insistent and more erratic, causing Logan to rise from his chair. He hesitated at the knob, not sure if he actually wanted to open or not. Eventually, he turned the handle and found a very drunk Wade standing at his door.

Wade was listing slightly to right and was just on target to slur every third word. "Do you know what your problem is, Logan?"

Logan rolled his eyes, stepping away from the door as Wade entered. "I'm sure you're going to tell me."

Wade stumbled in, pointing briefly at Logan before looking around the room. "That's right, I am."

Logan looked away for a moment as he shut the door behind Wade. No sense in other people having to watch this unappetizingly familiar display. Wade turned to Logan again, a thought hanging on his lips. "What am I doing here again?"

"You're telling me what's wrong with me." Logan moved back towards his chair, flipping to the next page of the novel.

"Right. You're boring."

Logan's eyebrow shot upwards, about all the response he was willing to give Wade. "You're drunk."

Wade looked around for somewhere to sit, landing on the bed with his shoes on, causing Logan to growl beneath his breath. "Hey, I earned the drunk to be this right. After all, this was girlfriend number four to get married and invite me. Oh, look at me, I can be so normal. But who wants to be normal? Who doesn't want to live a life like ours?"

Logan shook his head. "Shoes off the bed."

Wade narrowed his eyes. "God, that's rude interrupting me during a tirade. But, then again, you don't care about powers and....hey!"

Logan had walked over from his chair and was currently ripping Wade's shoes from his feet. He looked down at the muscular boy on his bed. Wade had long since ceased knocking on anyone else's door. Logan was the only one to put up with his crap. More to the point, there was also the tactical advantage of not having drunk Wade fall into the wrong hands. The poor kid was liable to let anything happen to him in such a state, perfect accuracy or no.

"You heard me. No shoes on the bed."

Wade flung his arms out. "See? This is exactly what I'm talking about!"

Logan grunted. "Kid, after you've lived as long as me, some things just...you know what? Never mind. Talking to you like this will just give me a headache. Don't snore to loud or I'll roll you into the hallway."

Logan flipped through two pages before Wade spoke again, breaking the silence. "Why are you so nice to me?"

"It's not a crime to be considerate."

Wade blinked, propping himself on a wobbly elbow. "But you hate me. You all do, even my dad."

Logan shook his head. "I don't hate you. I just think you're a dumb ass who doesn't shut up enough. Tactical field advantage to keeping you locked up when you're drunk."

"Oh."

Logan looked up, Wade's face looking a bit crushed in. "Come on, kid. Don't start that crap. You're not six."

Wade was suddenly very interested in his feet, trying hard to hide the rising blush in his body. Logan began to smell it on the air, quite tangibly. Some emotion was mixing with Wade's drunk instability that Logan didn't want to think about. He was thoroughly convinced the Wade was merely feeling dejected, looking for just a hint of validation. Logan was too old to play into that crap.

Suddenly, Wade got up from the bed, nearly crashing into the floor. "I should head back to my room."

"Why?"

Wade was having trouble turning the knob on the door, eventually letting his hand fall with a sigh. "Because you don't want me here."

"You have a point in that messed up noggin on yours?"

"Logan, stop pretending to be so god damned patient!" Wade's voice rose.

Logan put his book down back on the nightstand. "Kid, stop shouting. You've just gotta sleep it off. Now get back on the bed and shut up."

Wade blinked. "Make me."

Logan tilted his head. "You don't want to start this kid."

Wade was already fumbling with his crotch, trying hard to look sexy. "Come on, Logan. You never bring home any girls, what's a guy supposed to think?"

Logan found himself not commenting on the fact that Wade was now unbuttoning his shirt in Logan's room. "That I'm old enough to have standards."

"What's Victor's issue then?"

Logan snarled low. "This ain't about Victor. Get your ass on the bed."

The tent in Wade's pants was getting far too noticeable. When his shirt dropped, Logan noticed how hairless he was. Then he suddenly stopped, blinking and giving Logan that deer in headlights look. He shook himself out of it. "It's more a matter of honor."

Logan sighed, becoming very impatient. "What is?"

Wade scratched his bare chest, nipples sprung hard since Logan never turned his heat past sixty five. "Well, I'm not just going to give you all of this. I mean, I have a rep to maintain. Just because you think I'm a fairy..."

Logan sprung forward, grabbing Wade by the arms and flinging him across the room onto the bed. His legs splayed and his eyes went wide as Logan followed suit, one hand massaging his package. "Look kid. I don't know why the hell you knock on my door and I don't really fucking care. But you're drunk and I don't turn down a good offer often."

Logan forced the back of Wade's head against the outline of his cock still trapped in his jeans. He wasn't completely hard yet to the point where it looked like a ridged lead pipe, but he could feel the stickiness of the pre-cum against his white undershorts.

Wade resisted at first, flailing against the bulge. But in his drunken state, his tongue really let itself take over in a good way. After about a minute, Logan was smirking as he looked down at the boy. "Ready for the real thing? This oughta shut you up."

Wade's hand reached up for Logan's zipper tentatively. Logan couldn't be sure, but it did look as though Deadpool was blushing. That rarely happened and it made Logan a little more hot to fuck the kid. He had been chosen for Wade's first time. It was a good judgment call by the kid.

Logan's cock sprung out of the side of his underwear, now a little sticky with pre-cum, and Wade pushed it out of the way while Logan peeled off his shirt. His body was in peak muscular condition and hairy across the chest. It opposed Wade's tanned and hairless frame in a way that made Wade open his mouth to make a comment. Logan took that opportunity to guide his cock toward the back of the boy's tonsils.

Wade gagged, flailing, but found a spot where he could take the head and a few inches of meat. He wasn't used to the taste or feel of cock, but he knew how girlfriends had given head in the past and done a lousy job at it. So, he did his best to mimic the things he knew worked. Judging by Wolverine's groans, he assumed he was doing something right. He also had to admit that being in this position was making him hard as well. He stroked his own cock inside his pants vigorously.

Logan put his hands behind his head, enjoying the feeling of the young man sucking his cock. He wasn't an expert, but Logan would admit that the feeling of a tongue on his cock was enough to stir him toward lust. He was stirred even more deeply as Wade reached up for the sides of his jeans and underwear, sliding them down so he could reach the ball sac. Logan soon decided that this was the young man's greatest talent with his tongue.

Wade's body was begging to be closer soon enough. Logan could see it, the way he was crouched around Logan's cock, legs sliding in between Logan's own. He had a need to be fucked, to let someone else have control. Fuck, with a dad like Stryker, Logan wasn't sure what kept the kid from turning gay merely out of spite.

Logan pushed Wade's mouth away, garnering a questioning glance. "Strip." Wade was out of his own clothes quickly.

Logan got a good look at the boy. He was tanned everywhere, which made Logan wonder where he had been during that tanning session, without any lines to signify his body had been white once. He was naturally hairless everywhere, except for the manscaped pubes. He was rock hard, pushing nine inches to match Logan's hard, meaty pipe.

"Wrong side."

Wade's eyes went wide. "Logan..."

Logan reached down with his hand, sniffing the air as his mouth whispered dangerously close to Wade's own lips. "You were doin' good, kid. Don't stop now."

Wade turned obediently, ass spread out before Logan. It was perfectly bare, tan and hairless. It was worked out and formed in a natural male way. It looked so tight that you could have bounced quarters off of it. Logan began pacing, then sat near the edge of the bed while sliding his jeans away. Wade looked terrified, unsure and gangly. "What are you going to do?"

Logan smirked. "Well, that's a stupid question. I'm gonna give you what you came here for, kid."

"I have a name."

Logan nodded. "Yeah, and right now, it's kid." He proceeded to lick his pinky quickly and stick it into Wade's virgin hole. Wade squirmed, bucking to get closer and yet farther from it at the same time. "Now, I coulda been real mean and shoved a lot more in, but I'm feeling generous seeing as how I finished the chapter I wanted to. So we'll just go as slow as you need-for now."

Wade prayed silently that his face would not stick in the expression that Logan was leaving it in. He shuddered and gasped as the second finger danced around his insides. By the time the third was present, he was beginning to crave the touch of Logan's coarse body.

Hearing the springs squeak as Logan climbed on top and lubed up his cock made Wade feel very grateful to both have the experience and have it over quickly. Logan hovered for a few minutes, pressing his meat against Wade's backside until Wade wanted to shout, but refrained.

Then Logan began to enter slowly. "Good boy, taking my meat like a man now. Made you want it."

Wade groaned in response, his brain firing drunkenly at a mile a minute. Wolverine's body was pounding deep and violently, in a seductive way, into his own. Every growl was punctuated by another quick thrust that went through Wade's body and shot out his own hard cock.

"Logan..." The words trembled from Wade's lips as he inhaled a part of the comforter.

"Forgot how much you like the cock?"

"Just...oh god...just yours. Oh fuck me, Logan."

Logan pushed himself deep inside Wade, throwing all of his weight onto the boy. "It'll be my pleasure."

Wade tried to reach out with a hand toward the wall for stability as Logan went to town on his hole, but his grip slid away far too quickly. The blankets on the bed curled around his fists and he swore that he could hear Logan howling inside his own throat.

There was a blinding, searing throb moving through Wade's body as he came close to climax. Logan's balls were hitting his own and each time one hit found his prostate, Wade thought that he might lose it. Eventually, the thrusts began to pound slower and slower until Logan gave one more thrust and a grunt.

Wade came first, semen sliding out across the bed in ropes. In his drunken state, he was pretty sure that his body was falling away from the coherent parts of his mind. Logan fucking him had been that good. Then, when the sensation of Logan's cock spurting cum into his ass hit, he began to hum to himself with intense satisfaction.

Wade turned his head as Logan dismounted, grabbing a towel from a rack inside his closet. "I didn't know you could do that."

Logan shrugged. "Didn't know you could take it like a man, Wade."


End file.
